A couple of weeks ago I decided I needed to build myself a Hackintosh netbook so that I could keep up with the newer variants of Apple’s OS X operating system. Since I left YSU I no longer have two computers on my desk at all times and I run Windows on my machines at home so I needed an inexpensive way to stay in practice on the Mac platform. Ordering the Dell 10v netbook on line is pretty simple, but I decided to buy the OS install disc in the “brick and mortar” world because there’s an official Apple store not far from me in Boston. I’d never been to an Apple store and I thought it would be interesting to check the place out.
If there’s one word I’d use to describe the Apple store it would be: Creepy.
Apple has always bothered me in a couple of different ways. First of all there’s their monopolistic/authoritarian attitude towards their users: You are not allowed to install the Mac OS on any computer that isn’t made by Apple. iPhone users can buy only applications that have been duly approved by the Powers That Be and sold in the official Apple App Store (they recently refused approval for a funny political caricature app developed by Mad Magazine and only relented after they were widely mocked for being complete ninnies/nannies). I won’t buy an iPhone because I refuse to let any Big Brother (irony alert) decide what apps I can and cannot have.
The other, less rational but still powerful, thing that bothers me is the whole “cult of Apple” thing. Every Mac user I’ve ever met has acted as if it’s the most wonderful religion in the world and I should join right now. The Apple store certainly displays this effect to the fullest: Every one of the chipper young folks working there was happy, helpful and completely upbeat about everything Apple in a slightly disquieting, Unification-Church-ish sort of way.
The store itself added to the discomfiting effect. It was large, airy and spacious; stylish in an affectedly-hip sort of way much like a certain well-known chain of coffee shops. In fact this last comparison was what led to my epiphany: The best analogy for Apple is a cross between Starbucks and the Church of Scientology.
Just ask yourself: What kind of computer do you think Tom Cruise has? (He probably drinks decaf, though…)
ADDENDUM:
You know what’s frowned on by both Scientologists and Starbucks? Smoking. Now Apple has apparently started invalidating warranties of computer owners who smoke. Read about it on the Consumerist.
ADDENDUM 2:
No comment:
I do believe you have opened a large, vocal can of worms, my friend.
This should keep you laughing until the blitzkrieg starts.
http://www.explosm.net/comics/1797/
Hey Scott, ever see that episode of the original Star Trek series called “The Return of the Archonsâ€? You know, the one where everyone on this planet is in thrall to someone/something called “Landruâ€? I felt as if I might have to explain to people that I am “from the valley” so they wouldn’t discover that I am “not of the body”.
Starbucks + Church of Scientology = Apple = Landru
LOL
But I know exactly what you mean.